Dads, have you seen the newly released video by hip-hop superstars Eminem and Rihanna, Love the Way You Lie? Chances are that if you haven't, your teen son or daughter has as the video has now eclipsed 100 million views on YouTube and the duo was recently voted best live performance at MTV’s VMA Awards.

For those of you not in the loop, music critics have heralded the track as a masterpiece and both artists have been given props for uniting to "raise awareness about domestic violence ". Much of the hype surrounding this video is due to the fact that both artists have experienced highly publicized intimate partner violence in their personal relationships - Eminem as an abusive husband in his relationship with his ex-wife and Rihanna as a victim at the hands of former boyfriend, Chris Brown. If that's not enough celebrity soaked dazzle for you throw into the mix super-starlet and sex symbol, Megan Fox, and actor Dominic Monaghan, of Lord of the Rings and Lost fame, cast as the dysfunctional couple acting out the song's lyrics in the video.

While admittedly this video is bringing some attention to issues of domestic violence, as a father I fear that both artists have grossly missed the mark with their message. Eminem is often credited with being a lyrical genius, creating innovative rhymes and rhythm schemes, and his unique delivery style cannot be disputed, but this song in no way addresses issues or raises awareness of DV in a positive light. Conversely both artists, despite what we can only hope were good intentions, paint a picture both lyrically and visually of a co-dependent, dysfunctional relationship, that romanticizes violence, control and aggression as the seamier side of "true love".

In an interview with "Access Hollywood" Rhianna commented about why as a victim of DV she chose to partner with Eminem on this track, “He pretty much just broke down the cycle of domestic violence and it’s something that people don’t have a lot of insight on.” I would suggest that we add these two artists to that list of people who lack insight. As far as Rhianna is concerned, I hesitate to criticize a victim, but in the song she sings:

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts

I for one fail to see how lyrics like these empower teenagers to embrace healthy relationships or bring healing to victims and in reality only suggest that a victim should choose to remain in an abusive situation.

Don't even get me started on Eminem's message contained in his lyrics:

If she ever tries to f*king leave again? I'mma tie her to the bed? And set the house on fire

Obviously, you don't need my commentary to break down what is incredibly wrong with this message. And no, I'm not taking it out of context and as a man I'm personally pretty tired of the "misunderstood bad boy" cliché being used as justification to act like a narcissistic jerk. I can only wonder if Eminem thought about the messages his daughter might take from this song and those boys who will one day want to date her.

Now I’m not suggesting that we blacklist Eminem or Rhianna as artists and demand that our kids delete any controversial songs from their iPod playlist. What I am asking however that as fathers we take the opportunity to talk with our kids about these issues and assist them with becoming media literate.

What is media literacy you might ask? Quite simply, it is the act of becoming informed and educated about the types of media you consume, the messages contained within and the effects it can have on individuals, communities and cultures. The Center for Media Literacy has developed a Media Literacy Kit that suggests that consumers of media ask five key questions in regards to the media the consume:

1. Who created this message?
2. What techniques are used to attract my attention?
3. How might people understand this message differently from me?
4. What lifestyles, values, and points of view are represented in or omitted from this message?
5. Why was this message sent?

Using this simple exercise with any media your kids consume, be it music, movies, television, magazines, or even video games not only provides parents with an opportunity to monitor our kids media consummation, but invites the opportunity to have a dialog with our kids about important issues in life and instill within them positive values around those issues.

This Tuesday, the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence will be hosting a Domestic Violence Awareness Month Rally and Resource Fair from 11:30am – 12:30pm on the West Steps of the Colorado State Capitol. Activities in October will focus on educating adults about teen dating violence and what they can do to let the teens in their lives know “I’m There For You.” I invite all fathers to attend the event with their kids if possible and be sure to visit us at the Colorado Men Against Domestic Violence booth at the resource fair. Helping your children becoming media literate is just one way in which we as fathers can “Be There For Our Kids”.