Fighting poverty with fatherfullness
The recent discussion on poverty, marital status and out of wedlock births (see Vincent Carroll’s February 20th Denver Post column – Discuss poverty at own peril) speaks to the flesh and bone of my work to improve the wellbeing of children as it relates to the absence or presence of a father or father figure. I am a part of a growing number of individuals and agencies in Colorado that are calling men to step up and be the kind of dad their children need them to be.
The politics of father absence, like any social issue of significance, is fraught with a plethora of differing assumptions and opinions.
In the fall of 1958 I was born into this world as a ten pound baby boy to two recently married teens. Perhaps carrying forward the spirit of their times my parents and I have never really talked about the circumstances regarding their pregnancy, dropping out of school, getting married and starting a young family in rural southwestern Michigan. Times have changed. The majority of pregnant teens in the late 1950s married their partners. That is not the case today. Thousands of boys still become parents but instead of marriage most of these young men become nonresidential fathers who must negotiate child support and child visitation. Contrary to popular belief, these young men are often emotionally and physically involved in relationships with their partner and child. But without support and guidance from adults, these relationships often deteriorate in the first year of the child’s life. 
The Colorado Men Against Domestic Violence Pledge Initiative is growing by leaps and bounds! The last thirty days has resulted in over 400 additional pledges. Most of the new pledges are hand written pledge cards from City and County of Denver employees. Several others and myself have been entering these by hand on our online pledge page. With each name and pledge I enter I am tossed between excitement and despair.