Some of my favorite parenting memories are reading with my children. Whether I was holding them on my lap in a rocking chair, laying prostrate beside them on their bed, sitting leaned up against their bed, sitting in the hall way between their rooms voicing the characters of the Narnia or Harry Potter series, sitting together in the family room or using a flashlight in a tent on a mountain side – the location and posture didn’t matter – what did matter was the bond we created by being together in an imaginary or real world of story. I believe that reading together has a magical way of drawing people closer, especially if those people are parent and child. I’m not sure why that is, but I think it has something to do with sharing our words and imaginations. Unlike visual stories, reading out loud requires a personal voice and expression, it also allows for more individuation of thought, imagination and sharing. I enjoy watching a good movie, television show or even a short You Tube clip now and again with my kids but none of these compare to my enjoyment of reading with them. A recent edition of the comic strip Rhymes with Orange drew this to my attention. The October 13, 2009 strip has a family seated together on a couch with popcorn and soda watching television. The caption reads, “The Barretts settled in for another great episode of ‘Read to your Children.’”

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The Colorado Men Against Domestic Violence Pledge Initiative is growing by leaps and bounds! The last thirty days has resulted in over 400 additional pledges. Most of the new pledges are hand written pledge cards from City and County of Denver employees. Several others and myself have been entering these by hand on our online pledge page. With each name and pledge I enter I am tossed between excitement and despair.

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GreatSchools, a national independent education nonprofit, and Harris Interactive, recently released “The Economy’s Impact on Back to School” report. Harris Interactive interviewed 1,086 Adults ages 18 and over, who are parents of children 5-17 who are currently in a public or private school. Amongst other findings they discovered that nearly two in three parents (64%) believe that, because of the recession, it is more important for them to volunteer in the classroom than before.

A majority of parents (53%) plan to volunteer at their child’s school this year versus 44% last year — an increase of 20%. The trend was most pronounced among African American parents, 60% of whom plan to volunteer (up from 23% who say they volunteered last year).

Despite their strong interest in volunteering, however, many parents feel like they are an untapped resource. According to the report, nearly half of parents (49%) list the lack of opportunities offered by teacher or schools among the main challenges they face to being more involved in ensuring their child receive a quality education.

In other words, a majority of parents agree that it's more important to volunteer at school, but many of them don’t know how best to help. This is where the dogs come in . . .

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Just over half of the respondents to our web survey on how father-inclusive their child’s school is perceive it to be “mostly” or “Fully” inclusive. I wish it were more, but the good news is that fathers’ involvement in their children’s education is on the rise according to a recent (and more sophisticated) study by The National Center for Fathering and the National Parent Teacher Association. Over the past 10 years fathers across the country have been taking their child to school, attending class events, visiting their child’s classroom and volunteering at school more often than ever before. By being actively involved, dads can positively affect their child’s school performance as well as instill in them the tools to not only graduate, but also go on to college and, or a successful career.

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Recently published research from the University of Denver confirms what many first time parents already know, the joy of parenthood often includes stress and strain on their couple relationship. The Denver study, published in the March 2009 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, followed 218 Denver-area couples over the course of the first 8 years of marriage. Compared with prebirth levels and trajectories, parents showed sudden deterioration following birth on observed and self-reported measures of positive and negative aspects of relationship functioning. Reporting on the study the Denver Post indicated that for 90 percent of couples marital bliss dives within a year after the birth of their first child. Scott Stanley, one of the authors of the study, acknowledges that declines are normal in most marriages but that for couples in the beginning year of parenthood stress becomes a bit more concentrated.

Mothers and fathers showed similar amounts of change after birth. Couples in the study who did not have children, indicated a more gradual deterioration in relationship functioning during the first 8 years of marriage without the sudden changes seen in parents, suggesting that the results seen in the parent sample may be due to birth.

A dad’s involvement and attentiveness to both mom and child are important from the very beginning.

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Like me you have probably stopped trying to figure out what the ribbon of the month is. There are green ribbons, yellow ribbons, gray and pink ribbons. There are tartan ribbons, and orange ribbons. There are even ribbons for “students against the exploitation of Rocky and Bullwinkle in Taco Bell Commercials” and Chicago Cub fans! The Bullwinkle group is now defunct, I’m not sure that will ever be the case for Cubs fans.

I think ribbon campaigns can and do draw attention to important issues and concerns. However, I must admit I don’t ask about ribbons as frequently as I used to. The Blue Ribbon Campaign began in 1989 when a grandmother in Virginia quietly yet determinedly tied a blue ribbon to the antenna of her van, because she wanted “to make people wonder.” Those who inquired about her ribbon heard the tragic story about the abuse of her grandchildren, which ultimately led to the brutal death of her grandson. Why blue? Mrs. Finney chose blue because she couldn’t forget the battered and bruised bodies of her grandchildren. Blue served as a constant reminder that our children need protection.

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While I do have a Facebook and Twitter account, I have yet to tap into the instant news updates that my son receives on his cell phone. I still prefer to get my news around 5:30 AM with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. Regrettably today is day one without the Rocky! I subscribe to breaking news headlines by e-mail but I typically wait for the train ride home to catch up with what has happened since the morning via my Blackberry.

All that to say, my teenagers typically know what the Dow did or who has laid off thousands before I do. In today’s age of 24/7 news, our teens hear, even if they don’t give their undivided attention to, stories focused on the economy. By teaching children the importance of spending money wisely at an early age, dads and moms can help them avoid catastrophic mistakes later in life.

Junior Achievement, Rocky Mountain, Inc., recommends these six easy steps when discussing money management with your children:

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Years ago psychologists at Stanford University found that kids who were able to hold off eating a marshmallow did better in school and in life. Children were presented with a simple but enticing dilemma – you can have one marshmallow now or if you wait (in this sterile room alone with the marshmallow) for fifteen minutes you can have two marshmallows. After conducting the original experiment, psychologists followed these children for 18 years and discovered that the ability to wait for the second marshmallow was an amazingly strong predictor of their success in school, their adjustment, their happiness, even their popularity.

Dr. David Walsh, president of the National Institute on Media and the Family is a big fan of the original marshmallow test research, and wrote about it in his book, No: Why Kids--of All Ages--Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It. Check out this humorous and insightful recreation of the “Marshmallow Study” with Dr. Walsh and some children on You Tube.

The marshmallow test is about kids developing self-discipline, which is the focus of Walsh’s latest book and the community conversation he is promoting, “Say Yes to No.”

In a society that seems to focus on immediate gratification it is important for dads and moms to help their children develop self-discipline.

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Bring together 12 or so expectant fathers, four new dads and their 2 to 3 month old infants, a trained facilitator for a 3-hour workshop on a Thursday night and what do you have? Feedings, crying, dirty diapers, questions, tips, nervousness, and lots of laughter – in other words a memorable experience that builds men’s confidence on being a dad. The concept is simple: dads-to-be learning the ropes from men who have successfully made the transition to fatherhood, who also bring their babies to make the experience hands-on and real. Topics include becoming a dad, forming a new family, caring for a new mom, bonding, working, safety and dealing with relatives. Veteran dads and their babies shed light on the skills of fatherhood including demonstration of burping, changing, swaddling and troubleshooting crying babies.

Thursday, February 19th from 6:30-9:30 PM the Nourish Family Center (8100 South Quebec Street, Suite B205, Centennial 80112) will offer their monthly Boot Camp for New Dads (BCND) class for FREE. Normally priced at $30.00 per dad, the class is held the third Thursday evening of each month.

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In October 2006, the Colorado Department of Human Services was awarded a federal grant of $10 million to be used over five years with the focus and intent of improving paternal relationships and parenting. Of the $2 million received annually, just under $1.2 million is awarded to appropriate organizations statewide that meet the application requirements.

Funding priority is given to faith and community based organizations that provide fatherhood parent skills training and healthy marriage / couples relationships training as core services. Of the total community access funds available for service providers, 70% is allocated for grass roots and faith based organizations that have social services as a part of their mission, are headquartered in the local community, have a total operating budget of $300,000 or less or have six or fewer full-time equivalent employees.

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