Dads on Dads, a study published in 2002 on the changing patterns of family life in modern Britain by the Equal Opportunities Commission identified four types of dads based on men’s time involvement with their children, the activities they engaged in with them, and the role they adopted in these interactions.
What type of dad are you? or What type of parents are you?
The recent discussion on poverty, marital status and out of wedlock births (see Vincent Carroll’s February 20th Denver Post column – Discuss poverty at own peril) speaks to the flesh and bone of my work to improve the wellbeing of children as it relates to the absence or presence of a father or father figure. I am a part of a growing number of individuals and agencies in Colorado that are calling men to step up and be the kind of dad their children need them to be.
The politics of father absence, like any social issue of significance, is fraught with a plethora of differing assumptions and opinions.
In 2009 Coloradodads.com had over 100,000 unique visitors and almost 2 million hits. Thank you to everyone who has logged onto our site this year! The website is just a small yet important portion of what we do.
In October 2006, the Colorado Department of Human Services (CDHS), Colorado Works Division was awarded a $10 million federal grant over five years to strengthen father/child relationships and improve parenting. Since that time we have helped fund 56 programs as they provide thousands of dads with the tools and resources they need to be the kind of men their children need them to be. This year we are funding 27 programs across the state.
It has been especially satisfying to see the development of programs that do not receive funds from us. More and more counties, agencies, and churches have begun to provide services this year that improve the well-being of our children by working with and through their dads. In addition there has been marked improvement of service coordination across divisions and departments of the state and counties.
In the past year we have trained over a 100 different Colorado practitioners in fatherhood practices and curricula.
Thanksgiving is a time of looking back with gratitude. It is a time when collectively we gather in communities of the heart to remind one another that regardless of the circumstances of the past, the present holds something, somewhere to be thankful for.
Memories aren’t only tied to the past however.
The Colorado Men Against Domestic Violence Pledge Initiative is growing by leaps and bounds! The last thirty days has resulted in over 400 additional pledges. Most of the new pledges are hand written pledge cards from City and County of Denver employees. Several others and myself have been entering these by hand on our online pledge page. With each name and pledge I enter I am tossed between excitement and despair.
Search Institute recently updated their website for parents MVParents.com. For 50 years Search Institute has provided research and resources to promote positive change on behalf of youth. They are best known for the 40 Developmental Assets. The Developmental Assets are 40 common sense, positive experiences and qualities that help influence choices young people make and help them become caring, responsible adults. The Developmental Assets represent the relationships, opportunities, and personal qualities that young people need to avoid risks and to thrive.
Our Watercooler Blog is place for individuals from the community to post their thoughts on fatherhood or fatherhood services. I recently had coffee with Scott Forlenza about what it is like to father a child with special needs. Whether you have a special needs child or not I am confident you will find his post meaningful.
We are currently in the planning stages for some pages on this site for dads of special needs children. Send me an e-mail or post a comment below if you have some ideas along those lines.
Rich
Just over half of the respondents to our web survey on how father-inclusive their child’s school is perceive it to be “mostly” or “Fully” inclusive. I wish it were more, but the good news is that fathers’ involvement in their children’s education is on the rise according to a recent (and more sophisticated) study by The National Center for Fathering and the National Parent Teacher Association. Over the past 10 years fathers across the country have been taking their child to school, attending class events, visiting their child’s classroom and volunteering at school more often than ever before. By being actively involved, dads can positively affect their child’s school performance as well as instill in them the tools to not only graduate, but also go on to college and, or a successful career.
I write this post on the evening of a full moon. I have always anticipated and enjoyed full moons as they rise in the evening, stand guard through the night and set in the growing light of the dawn. I anticipate this evening a little differently since reading a research article by Suzanne M. Flannery Quinn. Her article is actually on the presence and depictions of fathers in best-selling picture books in the U.S. and is published in the Spring 2009 edition of Fathering: A Journal of Theory, Research, and Practice about Men as Fathers. As more of an aside than anything else she notes the presence of the moon in a number of children’s books focusing on father-child relationships. This may simply be because many of the stories take place in the evening or nighttime when traditional dads are more available to their children, but Quinn wonders if it is also possible that the moon is a second-order sign related to fathers.
Twenty plus years ago I finished graduate school in May, my daughter was born in June and my first job out of grad school came in September . . . of the following year. I became an at-home dad right from the start. And from that moment my heart and direction was set. I knew then I was always going to be about helping men be the kind of dads their children need them to be.
Erma Bombeck captured my commitment in her classic Father’s Day column penned in 1992:
One morning my father didn’t get up and go to work. He went to the hospital and died the next day.
I hadn’t thought that much about him before. He was just someone who left and came home and seemed glad to see everyone at night.
