I’ve been a follower of Mark Brady’s blog, The Committed Parent: Translating social neuroscience to help parents raise kids we can live with and we’re crazy about, for some time. In a recent post, Wiring the Brain for Wisdom, Brady cites research that identifies compassion, self-understanding, morality and emotional stability as some of the cornerstones of wisdom. He then expounds upon his belief in the importance of social neuroscience and the heart and brain connection in regards to wisdom. He also mentions the cultivation of learned fearlessness, and includes Princeton philosophy professor and social critic, Cornel West as someone who he believes demonstrates “learned fearlessness with deep roots planted early in his heart.” – Brady began his post with a quote by West on President Obama.

What does this have to do with the title of this post, “Be there for them”?

Brady, supports his observation by quoting a section from West’s autobiography that talks about his relationship with his dad, a general contractor for the Defense Department:

"In his autobiography West provides one powerful clue to his fearless roots. He was asked how a black kid of modest beginnings managed to graduate Magna Cum Laude from Harvard, home of the intellectual elite, in three years. Here’s his response:

The Sacramento (Bee) ran a long article on me with a big picture. They went over to interview (my) Dad. They told him they needed thirty minutes to ask a battery of questions about how he had raised his children. But Dad being Dad broke it down beautifully. He said, “I don’t need thirty minutes. Fact is, I don’t even need one minute. I can give you the answer in four words. Be there for them. Give your children all the time they need.

“That’s it?” asked the reporter.

“That’s it,” said Dad. “Be there for them.”

And he was. He always was.

Brady concludes, "For the wiring of wisdom and learned fearlessness, it apparently helps to start with a wise parent, one who fully recognizes the need to make and keep the 'irrational commitmet'  to consistently be someone your kids can radically rely on. Not a job for the faint heart of hearts."