In the fall of 1958 I was born into this world as a ten pound baby boy to two recently married teens. Perhaps carrying forward the spirit of their times my parents and I have never really talked about the circumstances regarding their pregnancy, dropping out of school, getting married and starting a young family in rural southwestern Michigan. Times have changed. The majority of pregnant teens in the late 1950s married their partners. That is not the case today. Thousands of boys still become parents but instead of marriage most of these young men become nonresidential fathers who must negotiate child support and child visitation. Contrary to popular belief, these young men are often emotionally and physically involved in relationships with their partner and child. But without support and guidance from adults, these relationships often deteriorate in the first year of the child’s life.

Denver Post columnist, Tina Greigo, recently attended one of our fatherhood programs for young dads and wrote about it in her January 30th column – Learning to be the fathers they didn’t have. She revisited the issue of young dads in today’s column in which she writes,

“I find myself still thinking about the four young fathers I wrote about Saturday. Look at the research on teen fathers, and you'll find a Yale School of Public Health study released last month reporting that the sons of adolescent fathers are more than twice as likely to become teen fathers themselves. You'll find these are young men, much like teen mothers, who have less educational achievement and poorer earning potential. You will find they come out of poverty. What you have, then, is children of poverty raising children of poverty.

I sat among these young men and could not help but wonder of each: Will you be the one who makes it, who stays involved, who raises the child who "exceeds where I have stopped," as 22-year-old Raul Herrera put it?"

I hope so. Tina hopes so. Raul hopes so. But to make it most young dads need others to come alongside who believe in them and help them believe in themselves despite the mistakes they’ve made, to encourage them not to give up when it seems like everyone is down on you, and to step up if not for themselves for their child.

In his recent book, When Boys Become Parents: Adolescent Fatherhood in America, Mark S. Kiselica, professor of counselor education at The College of New Jersey, draws on years of counseling teenage fathers to offer a compassionate look at the difficult life circumstances and the complicated hardships these young men experience.

Engagingly punctuated with personal stories, research, statistics and strategies Kiselica has provided one of the best resources available for individuals serving teen parents. He convincingly identifies the crisis of teen pregnancy in America by addressing implications, identifying service needs and expounding upon best practices for engaging young fathers. Although the teen pregnancy rate in America has declined in recent years, the United States still has the second-highest rate among developed countries. Contrary to popular belief over two-thirds of the males involved in teen pregnancies are adult men who are twenty years or older. The over 175,000 teen boys who do become parents each year in our country are more often than not pegged with stereotypes that neither fit or help them become the kind of dad their child needs them to be. To be sure there are young fathers who fit a deviant antisocial profile but this is not true for the majority of teen dads. Regardless of circumstances these young men and moms deserve the best we can give to help them succeed for the well-being and welfare of their children.

We have long been in need of a resource like When Boys Become Parents. But more importantly we need people like Leo and Lawrence, Tim and Warren, Randy, Chris and Jim, Chuck and Tyrone . . . I could go on. These are just a few of the men I know who are coming alongside. The times are changing.