The most popular online article at Parenting.com over the last couple weeks was and still is “Mad at Dad: We love our husbands – so why are we so angry at them, so often?” by Martha Brockenbrough. Based on a survey of 1,000 moms from MomConnection, an online opinion panel, Brockenbrough has tapped into the hidden, or not so hidden anger of young moms.

“We love our husbands,” she writes, “but we’re mad that we spend more mental energy on the details of parenting. We’re mad that having children has turned our lives upside down much more than theirs. We’re mad that these guys, who can manage businesses or keep track of thousands of pieces of sports trivia, can be clueless when it comes to what our kids are eating and what supplies they need for school. And more than anything else, we’re mad that they get more time to themselves than we do.”

New York Times contributing writer, Lisa Belkin and Seattle Post-Intelligencer family reporter, Paul Nyhan, has blogged about the article, which have generated hundreds of responses on various sites.

Survey results mentioned in the story state that:

• 46 percent of respondents “get irate with their husbands once a week or more,” Brockenbrough writes. “Those with kids younger than 1 are even more likely to be mad that often (54 percent). About half of the moms describe their anger as intense but passing; 1 in 10 say it’s ‘deep and long-lasting.’” 
• 44 percent are “peeved” that their partners “often don’t notice what needs to be done around the house or with the kids,” a percentage that rises to 54 percent among mothers with three or more children.
• 50 percent of respondents say, “their husbands get more time for themselves. The lack of time off is a huge issue for the moms carrying the most anger. More than 60 percent of the moms who get mad weekly — and almost three-quarters of those who are angry every day — feel this way.”

Other studies indicate that when moms criticize dads back off of childcare. Obviously dialogue about expectations and actual behaviors are needed by both parents. One way to start the dialogue is to use some of the downloadable tools available at Equally Shared Parenting.

What about your situation? Are both you and the other parent of your child satisfied with how you parent together? Why or why not?