My daughter and I used to have a nightly ritual that included: tucking her in, a prayer and the phrase, “Bullfrogs . . . I love you!”

“Bullfrogs,” that amphibian has verbally hopped back and forth between us every night for sixteen years. It started, innocently enough, in response to a beer advertisement.

One spring evening, as I strapped her in the car seat, her eyes were drawn to a huge billboard image of several bullfrogs towering over our car. My eyes caught what had captured hers and I described what we both saw. “Bullfrogs,” I said. She responded with a gift of laughter no father could resist, so I said it again, and again as we drove home, and later that night as I tucked her into bed. The sparkle in her eye and smile on her face told me we had stumbled onto something that was worth protecting. And protect it we did, right into her teen years when our ritual involved maneuvering through the obstacle course called her floor, diverting her eyes from the laptop on her bed, a kiss on the cheek, a prayer and the phrase, “I love you . . . bullfrogs . . . don’t stay up too late.”

She is now a sophomore in college and that nightly ritual has adapted to e-mails and phone calls. Transcending our personal lingo, our life together has shaped each of us and will continue to shape us as the dynamics of our relationship changes through the years. I would be remiss to write off the impact “bullfrogs” has had on our relationship. That silly little amphibian moniker has captured our world like a raindrop captures the sun. It will stand the test of time.

Studies repeatedly confirm that young women fare substantially better if they have fathers who affirm and support their development, yet a national poll on the state of father-daughter relationships, commissioned by the national advocacy nonprofit Dads and Daughters, found that two-thirds of the dads surveyed didn’t think their active involvement was vital to their daughter’s health and well-being. While your daughter’s well-being will be impacted by numerous influences, I believe you, as her father, play a vital role.

Consider these ideas as you seek to nurture your relationship:

• Develop little rituals that reinforce the message, “Dad loves me, he cares about me.”
• Take her out on dates. Brainstorm a list of things to do together and then put them on your calendar.
• Listen to her with both your eyes and your ears.
• Connect to her world. What does she like? Dislike? What does she look forward to? What is she worried about?
• Play with her; help her be physically active and affirm her abilities.
• Never stop hugging her. 
• Focus on what she thinks, feels, believes, dreams and does, more than how she looks.
• Be the dad she needs you to be.
• Play The COM-MU’-NI-CA’-TION game together. In the month of February we are promoting Father/Daughter Date nights (no matter what your ages).